The Idol of the Book Characters
by Exactly.As.Planned
Summary: In which the characters of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Twilight compete in an idol. he judges are yours truly, Aieen, Severus Snape, and Lola. Review for your character choice. BTW, it's only long because of all the song lyrics. HIATUS


_**LotR/HP/Twilight Idol**_

The lights of the stage dimmed and the crowd silenced. The host walked on stage and the spot light shined solely on him. "Okay. I'm Celeborn and…" the man sighed and looked at the panel of judges. "Lady Aieen. Why am I here again?" The middle judge looked up at him.

"What? You wanna sing some ghetto song? Fine. Go trade off with Seamus then," she said. Celeborn scowled at her. "Aw, no! DON'T SCOWL!! IT'S NOT CUTE!!!" The crowd burst into roaring laughter. Celeborn glared.

Suddenly, three different colored blobs were flying on stage. They were colored as such: Black, pink, and purple. The three judges were revealed as the blobs of color stopped moving. Severus Snape was dressed in his black casual wear. Black slacks, a black turtle neck, and a black beret. The next judge was Aieen Baggins. She wore a bright pink turtle neck, bright pink cargo pants, and a bright pink party hat. The final judge was Lola Lovegood. She wore a purple dress suit, had a purple cane, and a purple top hat. Aieen had her right arm looped through Severus's left arm and Lola was twirling her cane. The girl with red hair snatched the microphone away from Celeborn and smiled at the crowd.

"WASSUP?" she yelled. "I'M AIEEN!!!! THE GUY ON MY RIGHT IS MY FIANCE! SEVERUS SNAPE! THE PIMPETTE ON MY LEFT IS LOLA LOVEGOOD! WE ARE YOUR JUDGES UNTIL THIS SHOW IS OVER!!!" Severus looked at her for a second. He leaned over and whispered something in her ear. She whispered something back.

"I LIKE TO WHISPER TOO!" Lola screamed, just to be part of the conversation. The crowd laughed while Aieen gave in.

"And your grump of a host is Celeborn, who, if he wasn't married and I never met Sev, would be my husband, but I LOVE SEV!!!" and she ran off the stage with a spoon she pulled from her pocket where her wand should have been but Sev has ensured it was replaced with said spoon. The red haired girl waved it around screaming 'Stupefy' at random audience members. Severus followed her off and dragged her to her place where Lola was already seated.

Celeborn gave a long, suffering sigh and picked the microphone up from the ground. "Our first contestant is…." He looked at the piece of paper Lola chucked at him. "Samwise Gamgee… Oh, and idiotic audience members remember that this _is_ Dedication Night, for what reason I could never fathom…" With that, he threw the microphone down and stomped off stage to speak with Gandalf, leaving the auditorium filled with a high pitched screech. Moments later, the cute but ever shy Samwise Gamgee scrambled onto the stage from backstage. He picked up the microphone and smiled shyly.

"Hi… I'm Samwise, but call me Sam… Um…" He looked at the judges. Aieen waved excitedly and pointed to her party hat that said 'YOU CAN ROCK THIS HOUSE!' in big black letters. Sam's shy smile never left. "Um… My song is um… 'I'm Yours'… It's dedicated t-to Master Frodo."

Aieen squealed and hugged Severus while Lola 'aw'ed. Samwise cleared his throat and when he sang, he shocked everyone into stunned silence at the musical sound of his voice.

"**Well you dawned on me and you bet I felt it  
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted  
I fell right through the cracks  
and now I'm trying to get back  
Before the cool done run out  
I'll be giving it my bestest  
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention  
I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn some**

I won't hesitate no more, no more  
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me  
Open up your plans and damn you're free  
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love  
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing, we're just one big family.  
It's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more  
It cannot wait I'm sure  
There's no need to complicate  
Our time is short  
This is our fate, I'm yours

Do you want to, come on, scootch over closer dear  
And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror  
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer  
But my breath fogged up the glass  
And so I drew a new face and I laughed  
I guess what I'll be saying is there ain't no better reason  
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons  
It's what we aim to do  
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more  
It cannot wait I'm sure  
There's no need to complicate  
Our time is short  
This is our fate, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me  
Open up your plans and damn you're free  
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours  
so please don't please don't please don't.  
There's no need to complicate  
'cause our time is short  
This oh this oh this is our fate I'm yours

Oh I'm yours

I won't hesitate no more  
Oh no more no more no more  
It's our God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure  
There's no need to complicate  
Our time is short  
This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more  
This cannot wait I'm sure  
There's no need to complicate  
Our time is short  
This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours."

The auditorium was silent as Samwise's voice rang through said building. Then it burst into applause while the judges muttered to each other. Celeborn stomped back on stage and snatched the microphone from Samwise. "Well, that was very good, Master Gamgee," he said. "Judges?"

Severus went first. "Where the hell have you been hiding Samwise Gamgee?" he snarled. Aieen was staring at Sam with stars in her eyes. Lola grinned.

"HELLZ YEA!!! I'LL KILL WHOEVER VOTES YOU OFF!!!" Sam blinked, shook his head, and walked off the stage.

Severus threw a wad of paper at Celeborn this time. The blond man picked it up and cleared his throat. "Next up is…. Legolas of the Woodland Realms." He tossed the microphone in the air and before he'd even moved, Legolas was standing next to him with said microphone in his hand. Aieen stared.

"Ada," she whispered. "Don't traumatize me, okay?"

"I'll try not to, Aieeniel," he said softly. She gave him this look. He smiled. "Do not hate me, Aieeniel. I am singing 'So in Love with Two' to your Adar and your Uncle." Aieen looked downright horrified.

"Sev," she murmured. "Give me my wand. I'm going to Avada Kedavera myself." Severus slapped her upside the head. And the music started. Lola was face palming whereas Aieen was staring in horror at both her fiancé and her Ada. She stopped upon hearing the voice of her Ada.

"**My number one: There could never be no one like you  
How come I feel this way about  
My number two: Never tried to tell me what to say or do  
I'm so in love with two  
I don't want to push it  
I don't want to fight  
But this feeling keeps me up all night**

If I only could decide  
But I can't make up my mind  
I'm breakin' all my rules because of you  
You can tell me it's not right  
And it tears me up inside  
But the problem is I'm so in love with two

Hey, hey, hey  
I don't know what to do  
Hey, hey, hey  
I choose the both of you

My number one: You give me everything I need  
But some things still are better with  
My number two: He's the one that really makes me feel so good  
I'm so in love with two  
I don't want to push it  
I don't want to fight  
But this feeling keeps me up all night

If I only could decide  
But I can't make up my mind  
I'm breakin' all my rules because of you  
You can tell me it's not right  
And it tears me up inside  
But the problem is I'm so in love with two

But the problem is I'm so in love with two

Hey, hey, hey  
I don't know what to do  
Hey, hey, hey  
I choose the both of you

Don't want to fight another night  
Just want to make it right  
C'mon  
Ooh, my number one, oh, my number two  
Somebody tell me what I'm supposed to do  
My number one, my number two  
Somebody tell me  
I'm so in love with two

If I only could decide  
But I can't make up my mind  
I'm breakin' all my rules because of you  
You can tell me it's not right  
And it tears me up inside  
But the problem is I'm so in love with two

If I only could decide  
But I can't make up my mind  
I'm breakin' all my rules because of you  
You can tell me it's not right  
And it tears me up inside  
But the problem is I'm so in love with two

Hey, hey, hey  
I choose the both of you." The auditorium was filled with applause.

Celeborn danced on stage, that's how kick ass and graceful he is. He looks like he's dancing when he moves, so HA BITCH! He took the mic from Legolas and looked at him. "Elvin king, you sing well. Judges?"

"Still not as kick ass as Samwise, but very good, Legolas," Lola said.

"Agreed," Severus said softly. Aieen's eye twitched.

"My uncle's fucking married with a KID!" she yelled. "Song choice, kinda creepy Ada, but nice voice. Though I agree with Sev." Legolas nodded and disappeared just as Aieen chucked a wad of paper at Celeborn.

"Next is…" He sighed. "Merry and Pippin of the Shire." He held out the microphone for them and only let go of it once Merry and Pippin had it safely in their grasp.

"WOOHOO!!!" someone screamed from the audience. "GO PIPPIN!!! GO MERIADOC!!!"

Merry cleared his throat. "Hiya judge people!!! Me and my Pip are gonna sing Savin' Me. We're singing this to Frodo Baggins!!!!"

And the music started. "**Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
Oh, I reach for you  
Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'**

**Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me**

Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm fallin'  
And all I see is you  
These city walls ain't got no love for me  
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
And oh I scream for you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And all I need from you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

**Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me**

**Hurry I'm fallin'**

All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh, I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

**Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me**

**Hurry I'm fallin'**." They finished off with a bow.

The audience applauded.

Celeborn then reappeared on stage like a ninja. He gently took the mic from the Hobbit lovers and spared them a tiny smile. "Very good Hobbits. Judges?"

"Very… No. I didn't think it was good," Severus said. Some people in the audience 'boo'ed. Severus chuckled. "Compare it to Samwise."

"Lady Aieen?"

"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRY!!!!!!!! I HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU AND YOUR FRIEND ARE _NOT_ ORCS!!!" Aieen screamed.

"Well…" Pippin looked at her for a second and turned to Merry. "That's good news."

"What about our singing?" Merry demanded.

"It sucked," Aieen replied.

"And finally, Ms. Lola?"

"Uh. No. Never again."

Pippin's eyes filled with tears. Merry glowered and held his lover close. "Look," Severus said. "When you sing, a puppy dies."

"WHAT?!" Merry screamed. Pippin burst into tears while Lola screamed 'Save the Puppies'.

Aieen flicked her wrist towards the exit to backstage. "Off we go now." Lola chucked a wad of paper at Celeborn who caught it with now practiced ease.

Merry carried Pippin off the stage romantically as Celeborn un-creased the wad of paper. He read 'haha, you have funny hair' to himself first then the name. "Our next contestant is Sirius Black." He threw the microphone onto the ground and left while the high pitched screeching filled the room again until Sirius bounded on stage and picked it up.

"Hey! I'm Sirius Black. My song is dedicated to Severus Snape! It's called 'Girlfriend'!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Aieen screamed in outrage.

"Hey. I don't like you, Ai." Aieen stood and kicked the judge's table, effectively knocking it over.

"I AM A MOTHER FUCKING PRINCESS YOU ASSHOLE! I COULD DOMINATE YOU ANYWHERE! HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT LIKE ME?!?!?" she shrieked. Sirius gave her a sheepish smile and the music started. Aieen kicked her chair over and stormed out of the auditorium.

"**Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend**

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
You know it's not a secret  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend

You're so fine  
I want you mine  
You're so delicious  
I think about ya all the time  
You're so addictive  
Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?  
Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious  
And Hell Yeah  
I'm the motherfucking princess  
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right

She's like so whatever  
And you could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everyone's talking about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
You know it's not a secret  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me  
And even when you look away I know you think of me  
I know you talk about me all the time again and again  
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear  
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear  
I don't want to hear you say her name ever again  
(And again and again and again!)

She's like so whatever  
And you could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everyone's talking about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
You know it's not a secret  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
You know it's not a secret  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger  
Cause I can, cause I can do it better  
There's no other  
So when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid  
What the hell were you thinking?!  
**  
****In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger  
Cause I can, cause I can do it better  
There's no other  
So when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid  
What the hell were you thinking?!**

**  
[****Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend**

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
You know it's not a secret  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend."

Severus stared at him blankly. That was scary and traumatic. Celeborn took his sweet time coming on stage. He looked at Sirius as he took the mic, opened his mouth, closed it, shook his head, and repeated this seventeen times. "Judges?"

"He fuckin' sucked," Aieen said. When did she come back? Ninja… The word went unspoken in the auditorium. Then again, the Princess _is_ part elf.

"I never want to hear that song again," Severus murmured, hiding his face against his fiancée's shoulder. Lola did what Celeborn did until the man ushered Sirius off stage. Severus recovered once Sirius was gone and threw a paper at Celeborn.

"Our next contestant is…" He grimaced. "Cedric-Dead-Ass-Diggory." Aieen stood, shook her head, and left the room. Cedric Diggory strutted on stage. Aieen had three cups of something when she returned loudly.

"Why didn't you ninja in?" Lola asked as she took the cup of whatever.

"I had objects to transport," Aieen said as she gave Severus his cup.

"What is it?" he asked wearily.

"Trust me. This is _Cedric Diggory_. He has fangirls. This drink will keep the head ache away," the red head said, nodding. Severus shrugged.

"I'm Cedric Diggory. Call me Ced. I'm singing 'Grace Kelly' for Cho Chang." The music began and cue the fangirl squeals at his voice, Aieen amongst them. Severus was ridiculously glad he drank the drink. "**"I wanna talk to you."  
"The last time we talked, Mr. Smith, you reduced me to tears. I promise you it won't happen again."**

Do I attract you?  
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?  
Am I too dirty?  
Am I too flirty?  
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome  
I could be loathsome  
I guess I'm a little bit shy  
Why don't you like me?  
Why don't you like me without making me try?

I tried to be like Grace Kelly  
But all her looks were too sad  
So I try a little Freddie  
I've gone identity mad!

I could be brown  
I could be blue  
I could be violet sky  
I could be hurtful  
I could be purple  
I could be anything you like  
Gotta be green  
Gotta be mean  
Gotta be everything more  
Why don't you like me?  
Why don't you like me?  
Why don't you walk out the door!

"Getting angry doesn't solve anything"

How can I help it  
How can I help it  
How can I help what you think?  
Hello my baby  
Hello my baby  
Putting my life on the brink  
Why don't you like me  
Why don't you like me  
Why don't you like yourself?  
Should I bend over?  
Should I look older just to be put on your shelf?

I tried to be like Grace Kelly  
But all her looks were too sad  
So I try a little Freddie  
I've gone identity mad!

I could be brown  
I could be blue  
I could be violet sky  
I could be hurtful  
I could be purple  
I could be anything you like  
Gotta be green  
Gotta be mean  
Gotta be everything more  
Why don't you like me?  
Why don't you like me?  
Why don't you walk out the door!

Say what you want to satisfy yourself  
But you only want what everybody else says you should want

I could be brown  
I could be blue  
I could be violet sky  
I could be hurtful  
I could be purple  
I could be anything you like  
Gotta be green  
Gotta be mean  
Gotta be everything more  
Why don't you like me?  
Why don't you like me?  
Why don't you walk out the door!

**I could be brown  
I could be blue  
I could be violet sky  
I could be hurtful  
I could be purple  
I could be anything you like  
Gotta be green  
Gotta be mean  
Gotta be everything more  
Why don't you like me?  
Why don't you like me?  
Why don't you walk out the door**!"

The auditorium erupted in squeals and applause. Celeborn danced (hell yeah) on stage again. "Judges?"

Severus glared. "Don't ask."

Celeborn cleared his throat and sent Cedric off stage. "Next is…" He caught the paper Aieen threw at his leg. "Frodo Baggins!!!" he waited for Frodo to get on stage before handing the microphone over. Aieen was jumping up and down.

"I LOVE YOU SO, SO, SO MUCH ADAR!!!" she yelled.

"I love you too, Aieeniel." He smiled his heartbreaking smile that had his own _daughter _swooning under its power. "My song is to my best friend, Samwise Gamgee, without whom I would not be here today." Aieen smiled sadly.

"Uncle Samwise… He is that cool, isn't he?" she murmured softly, finding Severus's hand under the fixed judge's table. She laced their fingers together and smiled softly.

The music began. "**When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;  
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;  
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,  
Until you come and sit awhile with me.**

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;  
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;  
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;  
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;  
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,  
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;  
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;  
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be."

Nearly every female in the auditorium was sobbing. Aieen was being held by Severus who was stroking her hair, his face carefully blank. Lola was silently crying as the crowd clapped and cheered. Celeborn was wiping his eyes with a tissue when he next came on stage. "Amazing," he muttered, "simply amazing… Judges?"

"Bloody brilliant," Severus murmured.

"Amazing…" Lola murmured as well. Aieen pushed out of her lover's arms and jumped on stage to hug Frodo. She left the stage when Lola threw a paper at Celeborn.

"Next is…" a smile spread across Celeborn's face. He looked up and around him. "Tell me where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him."

"About what?" Aieen asked as she wiped her eyes.

"Well, he's the next contestant." Aieen's eyes dilated. Gandalf sauntered onto the stage in all his pimp glory. He smirked at his Pimp-Ette (Lola) and took the microphone.

"Hello, good people! I shall be singing 'My Heart Will Go On' for the judges." At this, Severus's eyes dilated.

"Give the man a chance!" Lola yelled, defending her Sensei in Pimp Etiquette.

The music began. Oh yeah. You know you want the Titanic. Well, ha, it sunk bitch! "**Every night in my dreams  
I see you, I feel you,  
That is how I know you go on**

Far across the distance  
And spaces between us  
You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
Once more you open the door  
And you're here in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time  
And last for a lifetime  
And never let go till were gone

Love was when I loved you  
One true time I hold to  
In my life well always go on

Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
Once more you open the door  
And you're here in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on

You're here, there's nothing I fear,  
And I know that my heart will go on  
Well stay forever this way  
You are safe in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on."

No one clapped. Celeborn, who forgot to leave, slapped Gandalf upside the head as Lola applauded hard-core. She stopped when she realized no one was clapping with her. Celeborn slapped Gandalf again and shoved him back stage. Aieen snapped out of it and hit Severus who threw a paper at Celeborn. "Next is…" He raised his eye brows. "Fred and George Weasley."

Said twins Apparated on stage. They took the microphone and pushed Celeborn backstage. "We're singing 'When You're Gone', dedicated to one another," the chirped together. Cue music.

"**I always needed time on my own  
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry  
And the days feel like years when I'm alone  
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side**

When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok  
I miss you

I've never felt this way before  
Everything that I do reminds me of you  
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor  
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok  
I miss you

We were made for each other  
Out here forever  
I know we were, yeah  
All I ever wanted was for you to know  
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul  
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok  
I miss you."

Someone started clapping… Who knows. But soon, everyone but the judges were clapping.

"Judges?" Celeborn asked as he danced onto the stage.

"Um… Yay?" Aieen asked.

"YAY!" Lola cheered.

"Whatever."

Aieen chucked a paper at Celeborn while Fred and George Disapparated. "Next up is…" He sighed. "The King of Gondor himself… Aragorn!!!" The king of Gondor (which also happened to be Aieen's uncle) strolled leisurely onto the stage. He took the microphone and shooed Celeborn offstage.

"I'm going to be singing 'Here Without You'. It's to my wife and how I felt during the War." Aieen snarled.

"Don't bring that shit up."

Aragorn smiled apologetically and the music began. "**A hundred days have made me older  
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face  
A thousand lies have made me colder  
And I don't think I can look at this the same  
But all the miles that separate  
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face**

I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'  
As the people leave their way to say hello  
I've heard this life is overrated  
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go  
It gets hard but it won't take away my love  
And when the last one falls  
When it's all said and done  
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl its only you and me."

Aieen sneered. "See, Ada? He's married." She nodded her head expertly. "Well, I didn't much care for it. Song sucked, voice kicked ass."

"Agreed," Severus nodded.

Lola waved her hand dismissively as Celeborn sauntered onstage and Aragorn handed over the mic and left. Lola threw a wad of paper at the host. "You're killing trees, you know," he said, motioning towards the pile of papers at the bottom of the stage.

"So?" Lola snapped.

"Well, not my problem when you're arrested. Next is," he unfolded the paper, "Jacob Black."

Said werewolf bounded on stage and caught the mic before it hit the stage. He grinned. "Hey all! I'm gonna be singing 'Folkin' Around' for Bells!" Yeah… He didn't really need a microphone…

The music began slowly. "**Allow me to exaggerate a memory or two  
Where summers lasted longer than, longer than we do  
And nothing really mattered except for me to be with you  
But in time we all forgot and we all grew**

Your melody sounds as sweet as the first time it was sung  
With a little bit more character for show  
And by the time your father's heard of all the wrong you've done  
Then I'm putting out the lantern find your own way back home.

If I'd forgotten how to sing before I'd sung this song  
I'll write it all across the wall before my job is done  
And I'll even have the courtesy of admitting I was wrong  
As the final words before I'm dead and gone

You've never been so divine in accepting your defeat  
And I've never been more scared to be alone.  
If love is not enough to put my enemies to sleep  
Then I'm putting out the lantern find your own way back home."

Everyone but Aieen and Severus (for understandable reasons) applauded. Celeborn danced onto the stage and took the mic from Jacob. "Judges?"

"I want to kill him," Aieen snapped.

"I want to kill him to make Aieen happy," Severus said.

"I LOVED IT!" Lola yelled. Aieen slapped the back of her head.

"Shut up before you say anything else that's completely idiotic."

Lola glared but said nothing. Celeborn almost literally threw Jacob backstage and he got hit in the face with a wad of paper from Severus. Celeborn shook his head and sighed. He read the paper and flicked the wad onto the floor. "EEEEEEEEDWARD CULLEN!!!" And the auditorium was filled with Rabid Fangirl Squeals of Doom and evil applause.

"WHERE IS MY WAND, SEVERUS? GIVE ME MY W-!" Aieen's screams were silence and everyone (camera and man running the camera included) turned to face the once scr4eaming red head.

Lola gaped for a second. "CUT TO COMMERCIAL! CUT TO COMMERCIAL!!!!!!!! SEVERUS SNAPE! STOP IT THIS INSTANT! AIEEN BAGGINS!!! STOP IT!!! CUT TO COMMERCIAL RIGHT NOW, VOLDEMORT! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL BEAT YOU WITH MY-!" And the show was cut to commercial.

_Do you have trouble eating? Then you're like her!!! (Random CGI finger points at a random CGI anorexic girl) Yeah… What? Okay, Mike, switch commercials! What…? Oh. Okay. Now back to the scheduled programming._

Edward Cullen was standing on stage smirking at Severus and Aieen who were glaring at wither him or Lola. Edward cleared his throat. "I shall be singing 'Crank That Soulja Boy' to those of you who take it upon yourselves to hate me."

Aieen's jaw dropped and she stared.

Shaking his head, Severus waved for him to continue.

"NOOOOO!" Lola shrieked.

"**(Yoooouuuu!)  
Soulja boy I tell 'em  
Hey I got a new dance fo you all called the soulja boy  
(Yoooouuuu!)  
You gotta punch then crank back three times from left to right  
(Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh yeeeeaaaah!)**

Soulja boy off in this hoe  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank that soulja boy  
Then superman that hoe  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)

**Soulja boy off in this hoe  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank that soulja boy  
Then superman that hoe  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)**

Soulja boy off in this hoe  
Watch me lean and watch me rock  
Super man that hoe  
Then watch me crank that Robocop  
Super fresh, now watch me jock  
Jocking on them haters man  
When I do that soulja boy  
I lean to the left and crank that thang  
(now you)  
I'm jocking on your bitch ass  
And if we get the fighting  
Then I'm cocking on your bitch ass  
You catch me at your local party  
Yes I crank it every day  
Haters getting mad cause  
"I got me some bathing apes"  
Soulja boy off in this hoe  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank that soulja boy  
Then superman that hoe  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  


**Soulja boy off in this hoe  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank that soulja boy  
Then superman that hoe  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)**

I'm bouncing on my toe  
Watch me super soak that hoe  
I'm gonna pass it to Arab  
Then he's gonna pass it to don loc (loc)  
Haters wanna be me  
Soulja boy, I'm the man  
They be looking at my neck  
Saying it's the rubber band man (man)  
Watch me do it (watch me do it)  
Dance (dance)  
Let get to it (let get to it)  
Nope, you can't do it like me  
Hoe, so don't do it like me  
Folk, I see you tryna do it like me  
Man that shit was ugly  
Soulja boy off in this hoe  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank that soulja boy  
Then superman that hoe  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)

**Soulja boy off in this hoe  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank that soulja boy  
Then superman that hoe  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)**

**Soulja boy off in this hoe  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank that soulja boy  
Then superman that hoe  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)**

**Soulja boy off in this hoe  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank that soulja boy  
Then superman that hoe  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)**

Aim to clean off in this hoe  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank that Roosevelt  
And super soak that Hoe 

**And super soak that Hoe **

**And super soak that Hoe **

**And super soak that Hoe **

**And super soak that Hoe **

**And super soak that Hoe **

**And super soak that Hoe **

**And super soak that Hoe **

**And super soak that Hoe **

**And super soak that Hoe **

**And super soak that Hoe**

Aim to fresh up in this bitch  
Watch me shuffle  
Watch me jig  
Watch me crank my shoulder work  
Super man that bitch 

**Superman that bitch**

**Superman that bitch**

**Superman that bitch**

**Superman that bitch**

**Superman that bitch**

**Superman that bitch**

Soulja boy off in this hoe  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank that soulja boy  
Then superman that hoe  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)  
Now watch me you  
(crank that soulja boy)."

No one clapped. Everyone stared at the vampire in horror. Aieen cleared her throat and Celeborn skipped on stage. Aieen wolf-whistled as did Severus, just to get a reaction out of people, obviously. Celeborn looked at them.

Aieen snitched her wand from her fiancé who pulled out his wand as well. "Who's up for flaming some vamps?" Severus silently stood beside her and soon they were joined by their army of wizards. It took them years to recruit the army that faithfully stood behind them with their wands drawn, Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Draco Malfoy, and Hermione Granger among them.

"Not today, my mellon nin!" said the awesome ninja Elf Legolas. He appeared out of nowhere. Aieen's eye twitched but she waved her followers off, muttering apologetically.

"Next is?" Celeborn asked as he strutted onto the stage. Aieen threw a paper at him. "Sam Uley!"

"YAY!!!" Aieen yelled. "He at least picks normal songs," she answered her fiancé's questioning look. He gave her another look. "NOOOO! I ONLY LOVE MY SEV!!!! ALL THAT OTHER STUFF IS FAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!"

Sam walked on stage and took the mic from Celeborn. "My song is I write the songs for Lady Aieen and Lady Lola."

Severus growled. "It's not a bad song, love," Aieen patted his arm reassuringly.

"**I've been alive forever,  
And I wrote the very first song.  
I put the words and the melodies together,  
I am music,  
And I write the songs.**

I write the songs that make the whole world sing.  
I write the songs of love and special things.  
I write the songs that make the young girls cry.  
I write the songs, I write the songs.

My home lies deep within you,  
And I've got my own place in your sole.  
Now, when I look out through your eyes,  
I'm young again, even though I'm very old.

I write the songs that make the whole world sing.  
I write the songs of love and special things.  
I write the songs that make the young girls cry.  
I write the songs, I write the songs.

Oh my music makes you dance  
And gives your spirit to take a chance,  
And I wrote some rock 'n' roll so you can move.  
Music fills your heart,  
Well, that's a real fine place to start.  
It's from me it's for you,  
It's from you, it's from me,  
It's a worldwide symphony.

I write the songs that make the whole world sing.  
I write the songs of love and special things.  
I write the songs that make the young girls cry.  
I write the songs, I write the songs.

I am music, and I write the songs." He got a simple applause.

"Excellent, but Uncle Samwise was still the best."

"Agreed," Lola and Severus murmured. Sam nodded and carefully put the mic in its stand and walked off with grace. The wad of paper was waiting for Celeborn. "Seamus Finnigan is-"

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HE HAS AND ACCENT!!!" Aieen screamed, jumping up and punching the air. Lola slapped the back of her head and motioned for Seamus to come on. Seamus took the mic and sighed and as soon as Celeborn left, he spoke.

"Hello!" he yelled. "I'm going to be singing Sexy Back to all of you Fangirls out there!"

"Oh god, Finnagin," Lola and Severus said.

The music began. "**I'm bringing sexy back  
Them other boys don't know how to act  
I think it's special what's behind your back  
So turn around and I'll pick up the slack.  
Take em' to the bridge**

Dirty babe  
You see these shackles  
Baby I'm your slave  
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave  
It's just that no one makes me feel this way

Take em' to the chorus

Come here girl  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Come to the back  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
VIP  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Drinks on me  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Let me see what you're working with  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Look at those hips  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
You make me smile  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Go ahead child  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
And get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it

Get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it

Go ahead, be gone with it

**Go ahead, be gone with it**

**Go ahead, be gone with it**

**Go ahead, be gone with it**

**Go ahead, be gone with it**

**Go ahead, be gone with it**

Get your sexy on

I'm bringing sexy back  
Them other boys don't know how to act  
Come let me make up for the things you lack  
Cause your burning up I gotta get it fast  
Take em' to the bridge  


**Dirty babe  
You see these shackles  
Baby I'm your slave  
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave  
It's just that no one makes me feel this way**

Come here girl  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Come to the back  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
VIP  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Drinks on me  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Let me see what you're working with  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Look at those hips  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
You make me smile  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Go ahead child  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
And get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it

I'm bringing sexy back  
Them other boys watch while I attack  
If that's your girl you better watch your back  
Cause she'll burn it up for me and that's a fact

Take em' to the chorus  


**Come here girl  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Come to the back  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
VIP  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Drinks on me  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Let me see what you're working with  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Look at those hips  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
You make me smile  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Go ahead child  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
And get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it**."

"Oh. My. God. What the bloody hell was that?" Severus hissed.

"That was horrible," Lola agreed.

"It sucked ass, but the accent totally made up for it dude!!!" Aieen yelled, only to get her head slapped by her fiancé. "I love you Sev," she said.

He nodded. "Love you too," he muttered under his breath as Seamus and Celeborn switched places. Alice Cullen was beside him.

"No paper wasting," she chided. "I'm next anyways. You can go now, Celeborn." The blond merely nodded and was almost off stage when he got hit in the back of the head by a piece of paper. The judges looked totally innocent… _Too_ innocent. Whatever. Alice grinned. "I'm gonna sing High School Never Ends for all those immortals out there!!"

"…" Severus and Aieen looked at each other. "Dear god," was muttered in unison along with a long, dramatic prayer in some unknown language, probably Elfish.

The Vampire began singing. "Four years you think for sure  
That's all you've got to endure  
All the total dicks  
All the stuck up chicks  
So superficial, so immature  
Then when you graduate  
You take a look around and you say HEY WAIT  
This is the same as where I just came from  
I thought it was over  
Aw that's just great

The whole damn world is just as obsessed  
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex,  
Who's got the money, who gets the honeys,  
Who's kinda cute and who's just a mess  
And you still don't have the right look  
And you don't have the right friends  
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends  
High school never ends

Check out the popular kids  
You'll never guess what Jessica did  
How did Mary Kate lose all that weight  
And Katie had a baby so I guess Tom's straight  
And the only thing that matters  
Is climbing up that social ladder  
Still care about your hair and the car you drive  
Doesn't matter if you're sixteen or thirty-five

Reese Witherspoon,  
She's the prom queen  
Bill Gates,  
Captain of the chess team  
Jack Black, the clown  
Brad Pitt, the quarterback  
I've seen it all before  
I want my money back

The whole damn world is just as obsessed  
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex,  
Who's in the clubs and who's on the drugs,  
Who's throwing up before they digest  
And you still don't have the right look  
And you don't have the right friends  
And you're still listen to the same shit you did back then  
High school never ends

High school never ends

The whole damn world is just as obsessed  
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex,  
Who's got the money, who gets the honeys,  
Who's kinda cute and who's just a mess  
And I still don't have the right look  
And I still have the same three friends  
And I'm pretty much the same as I was back then  
High school never ends

High school never ends

High school never ends

Here we go again."

She received a loud applause as Celeborn and Blaise Zabini Apparated to her side.

"V-very nice, Miss Cullen," Severus said, looking anywhere but his fiancée. Aieen was glowering at Alice.

"Whatever."

"YAY ALICE!!!!!"

"Next is Zabini because he's up here," Severus muttered. No one missed the way Aieen's face lit up.

"Zabini it is. I'll just go back stage…" Celeborn nodded and Alice gave Blaise the mic and danced off stage after Celeborn.

"Okay!!" Blaise said. "First of all, can I get the two beautiful lady judges up here?" he smiled his award winning smile as Aieen dragged Lola to the stage.

"Yes?" Aieen chirped ecstatically.

"Okay. Now, I'm going to be singing the Cha Cha Slide. This goes out to the beautiful lady judges beside me!"

"KYA!!!" Lola screamed.

"Really?" Aieen begged, nearly hanging off of Blaise's arm.

"Of course, Miss Aieen!" he chirped. And the music began. "**This is something new  
The Casper slide part two  
featuring the platinum band  
and this time  
We're going to get Funky!  
Funky!**

**Everybody clap your hands!  
Clap!Clap!Clap!Clap your hands!  
Clap!Clap!Clap!Clap your hands!  
Alright now, we're going to do the basic step!**

**To the left!  
Take it back now, ya'll!  
One hop this time!  
Right foot, let's stomp!  
Left foot, let's stomp!  
Cha Cha real smooth!**

**Turn it out!  
To the left!  
Take it back now ya'll!  
One hop this time!  
Right foot, let's stomp!  
Left foot, let's stomp!  
Cha Cha now ya'll!  
Last time we're getting funky!**

**To the right now!  
To the left!  
Take it back now ya'll!  
One hop this time!  
One hop this time!  
Right foot two stomps!  
Left foot two stomps!  
Slide to the left!  
Slide to the right!  
Criss-Cross!  
Criss-Cross!  
Cha, Cha real smooth!**

**Let's go to work!  
To the left!  
Take it back now ya'll!  
Two hops this time!  
Two hops this time  
Right foot two stomps!  
Left foot two stomps!  
Hands on your knees! Hands on your knees!  
Keep funking it! All yeah!  
Cha, Cha now ya'll!  
Turn it out!**

**To the left!  
Take it back now ya'll!  
Five hops this time!  
Hop it out now!  
Right foot let's stomp!  
Left foot let's stomp!  
Right foot again!  
Left foot again!  
Right foot let's stomp!  
Left foot let's stomp!  
FREEZE!  
Everybody clap your hands!**

**Come on ya'll! Check it out chya'll!  
How low can you go?  
Can you go down low?  
All the way to the floor?  
How low can you go?  
Can you bring it to the top?  
Like it never, never stop?  
Can you bring it to the top?  
One hop!  
Right foot now!  
Left foot now ya'll!  
Cha, Cha real smooth!**

**Turn it out!  
To the left!  
Take it back now ya'll!  
One hop this time!  
One hop this time!  
Reverse!  
Reverse!  
Slide to the left!  
Slide to the right!  
Reverse, reverse!  
Reverse, reverse!  
Cha, Cha now ya'll!  
Cha, Cha again!  
Cha, Cha now ya'll!  
Cha, Cha again!**

**Turn it out!  
To the left!  
Take it back now ya'll!  
Two hops! Two hops!  
Two hops! Two hops!  
Right foot let's stomp!  
Left foot let's stomp!  
Charlie brown!  
Hop it out now!  
Slide to the right!  
Slide to the left!  
Take it back now ya'll!  
Cha Cha now ya'll!**

**Ah, yeah!  
Yeah! Do that stuff!  
Ah yeah!**

**I'm out of here ya'll! PEACE**!"

At the end of the song, Blaise vanished from the stage. Aieen and Lola looked at each other, breathless after having danced with Blaise. "Fun… Heh…" Lola breathed.

"Sev, who's next?" Aieen inquired.

"I put down Emmett Cullen," he stated as the other two judges took their seats. Emmett pounded onto the stage.

"Hey all!!" he boomed. "I'm gonna be sing 'The Geek in the Pink' for Miss Lady Aieen!!!" he yelled.

"WHY IS EVERYONE HITTING ON MY FIANCEE? I SWEAR TO GOD!!!" Severus raged. Aieen patted his thigh consolingly and straightened his beret.

"It's okay. I only love my Sev. Besides," she smiled cheekily, "it's a cute song. Especially because I'm in pink."

Cue the music and the opening talking. "**Well, let the geek in the pink take a stab at it  
If you like the way I'm thinkin' baby wink at it  
I may be skinny at times but I'm fat fulla rhymes  
Pass me the mic and I'm a grab at it  
Well, isn't it delicious, crazy way that I'm kissin'  
'Cause baby listen to this, don't wanna miss it while it's hittin'  
Sometimes you gotta fit in to get in  
But don't ever quit cause soon I'm gonna let you in but see**

I don't care what she might think about me  
You can vibe without me if you want  
I could be the one to take her home  
Baby we could rock the night alone  
If we never get down it wouldn't be a letdown  
But sugar don't forget what you already know  
I could be the one to turn you out  
We could be the talk across the town  
Don't judge me by the color, confuse it for another  
You might regret what you let slip away

Like the geek in the pink  
Like the geek in the pink, pink, pink  
The geek in the pink, yeah

Well this relationship fodder don't mean to bother nobody  
But Cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots at her  
Because she fall in love too often that's what the matter  
At least I talk about it keep a pattern of flattery and  
She was starin' through the doorframe  
Eyeing me down like already a bad boyfriend  
Well she can get her toys outta the drawer then  
Cause I ain't comin' home I don't need that attention, see

I don't care what she might think about me  
You'll get by without me if she wants  
I could be the one to take her home  
Baby we could rock the night alone  
If we never get down it wouldn't be the let down  
But sugar don't forget what you already know  
I could be the one to turn you out  
We could be the talk across the town  
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another  
You might regret what you let slip away

Hey baby look at me go  
From zero to hero  
You better take it from a geek like me  
I can save you from unoriginal dum-dums  
Who wouldn't care if you com...plete him or not

So what I've got a short attention span  
A coke in my hand  
Because I'd rather have the afternoon, relax and understand  
My hip hop and flip-flops it don't stop with the light rock  
A shot to mock you kinda puts me in the tight spot  
The hype is nothing more than hoo-ha so I'm  
Developing a language and I'm callin' it my own  
So take a peek into the speaker and you'll see what I mean  
That on the other side the grass is greener

I don't care what she might think about me  
You'll get by without me if you want  
I could be the one to take her home  
Baby we could rock the night alone  
If we never get down it wouldn't be the let down  
But sugar don't forget what you already know  
I could be the one to turn you on  
We could be the talk across the town  
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another  
You might regret what you let slip away

Like the geek in the pink  
Well, I'm the geek in the pink, yo pink pink  
Geek is the color for fall, I'm the geek in the pink yeah  
So I'm the geek yo, in the pink yo.  
Hahah, y'all geek is the new color for fall  
I'm the geek in the pink…"

No one clapped. Severus and Aieen had dilated eyes and both were staring disbelievingly at him. "Get off the stage," Lola hissed. Emmett frowned and bounded away. "CELEBORN! SEND ON THE PERSON OF YOU CHOICE!!" and with that, the judges of Book Idol began saving paper. Hermione Granger came on after some scuffling about.

"H-hello. I'm going to be singing 'I Hate Everything About You' to Ronald and his stupid whore Lavender." She smiled.

"WOHOO!!! GO 'MIONE!" Harry (from backstage), Lola, and Aieen yelled.

"You teach the Weasel, Granger!" Hermione grinned.

"Love you Draco, love you Harry!"

"Love you too sis!" Aforementioned boys yelled back to their "Sister".

"Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet

Every roommate kept awake  
By every sigh and scream we make  
All the feelings that I get  
But I still don't miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you

Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you

Only when I stop to think  
About you, I know  
Only when you stop to think  
About me, do you know

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
You hate everything all about me  
Why do you love me

I hate  
You hate  
I hate  
You love me

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you."

"Well," Celeborn said as he made and entrance by swinging from a light plug onto the stage, "what did the judges think?"

"I'd say 'Mione wins hands down, but A) we haven't heard Draco and Harry yet and B) nothing compares to Uncle Samwise," Aieen murmured, lacing her fingers with Severus's.

"Agreed," the other two judges said.

"Next is Seth Clearwater," Celeborn said before leaving the same way he'd entered. Seth soon bounded onto the stage.

"I'm singing 'Who Let the Dogs Out' to my sister, Leah," he chirped. Without waiting for a response, the music played and he began. "Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out

The party was nice the party was pumping  
Ah Yepee Ah Yo  
And everybody having a ball  
Yepee Ah Yo  
Till them man them start they name calling  
Yepee Ah Yo  
Then them girls respond to the call  
I hear a woman shout out

Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out

Last year in the dance you had a ball  
You call me millibug and skettell  
Get back gruffy, mash scruffy  
Get back you flea infested mongrel

Now I tell meh self dem man go get angry  
Ah Yepee Ah Yo  
To hear dem girls calling them canine  
Yepee Ah Yo  
But they say hey man dat is part of the party  
Ah Yepee Ah Yo  
Them woman in front and they man behind  
I hear ah woman shout out

Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out

Ah doggie is nothing if he don't have a bone  
All doggie hold it  
Ah doggie is nothing if he don't have a bone  
All doggie hold it

Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out

Last year in the dance you had a ball  
You call me millibug and skettell  
Get back fluffy, mash scruffy  
Get back you flea infested mongrel

If I was a dog  
The party is on  
I got to get my groove on  
'Cause my mind done gone  
Can't you see the rays coming from my eyes  
Walking through the place like Digi-man  
Breaking it down  
Me and my white tail  
Short coat  
Can't see color  
Any color will do  
I'll stick on you  
That's why they call me pit bull  
'Cause I'm the man of the land when they see me  
They say oooooh

Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out."

Lola and Aieen were cracking up by the end of the song. Severus had a rude sneer on his face and everyone in the audience applauded. "Oh, my, god, Seth," Aieen giggled.

"What…. What was that?" Lola choked out.

Severus sneered and motioned for Seth to leave the stage. He was replaced by Bella.

"Hey! I-I'm Bella and I'm singing… B-Bad Boy f-for Jake…" She stuttered. Severus gave her the Malfoy Stare©, Aieen gave her the Malfoy Eye Brow Raise©, and Lola gave her the Malfoy Sneer©. Aieen motioned for her to sing. "**Remember the feelings, remember the day  
My stone heart was breaking  
My love ran away  
This moments I knew I would be someone else  
My love turned around and I fell  
Be my bad boy, be my man  
Be my week-end lover  
But don't be my friend  
You can be my bad boy  
But understand  
That I don't need you in my life again  
Won't you be my bad boy, be my man  
Be my week-end lover  
But don't be my friend  
You can be my bad boy  
But understand  
That I don't need you again  
No I don't need you again**

You once made this promise  
To stay by my side  
But after some time you just pushed me aside  
You never thought that a girl could be strong  
Now I'll show you how to go on

Be my bad boy, be my man  
Be my week-end lover  
But don't be my friend  
You can be my bad boy  
But understand  
That I don't need you in my life again

Won't you be my bad boy, be my man  
Be my week-end lover  
But don't be my friend  
You can be my bad boy  
But understand  
That I don't need you again  
No I don't need you again."

"I never… Want to hear that song again," Aieen hissed.

"Never," Severus agreed.

"Again," Lola added. Bella winced, put the mic where it belonged, and scampered off stage. Rosalie soon replaced her sister-to-be.

"I'm singing My Immortal for Emmett," she muttered, picking up the microphone. "**I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone**

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me."

Applause from all but the judges broke out. Aieen smiled softly. "At least you won't leave your husband, unlike _Bella_ who would probably drop Edward and take Jake… Then again, between Edward and Jacob, I'd take Jake any day," the red head said softly.

"You have a lovely voice," Severus complimented, nuzzling Aieen's cheek.

"Agreed. Now, who's next?" Lola hollered. Jasper was forcibly thrown onto the stage. He took the mic from Rosalie who disappeared.

Jasper cleared his throat and smirked at everyone. "I'm singing 'Mood Rings' to all the lovely ladies out there." Aieen seethed at him and Severus smirked the Malfoy Smirk©. And, without another word, Jasper began his song. "**We all know the girls that i am talking about  
well they are time bombs and they are ticking  
and the only question's when they'll blow up  
and they'll blow up; we know that without a doubt  
cause they're those girls, yeah you know those girls that let their emotions get the best of them**

and i've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man  
let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings  
so we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off  
cause we'll know just what they're thinking  
cause what they're thinking...

she's so pretty but she but doesn't always act that way  
her mood's out swinging on the swing set almost every day  
she said to me that she's so happy it's depressing  
and all i said was "someone get that girl a mood ring"

if it's drama you want then look no further  
they're like the real world meets boy meets world meets days of our lives  
and it just kills me how they get away with murder  
they'll anger you then bat their eyes; those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize

and i've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man  
let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings  
so we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off  
cause we'll know just what they're thinking  
cause what they're thinking...

she's so pretty but she but doesn't always act that way  
her mood's out swinging on the swing set almost every day  
she said to me that she's so stressed out that it's soothing  
and all i said was "someone get that girl a mood ring"

cause when it's black (it) means watch your back because you're probably  
the last person in the world right now she wants to see  
and when it's blue it means that you should call her up immediately  
and ask her out because she'll most likely agree  
and when it's green it simply means that she is really stressed  
and when it's clear it means she's completely emotionless (and that's all right i must confess)

we all know the girls that i am talking about  
she liked you Wednesday but now it's Friday and she has to wash her hair  
and it just figures that we'll never figure them out  
first she's Jekyll and then she's Hyde....at least she makes a lovely pair

mood ring oh mood ring  
oh tell me will you bring  
the key to unlock this mystery  
of girls and their emotions  
play it back in slow motion  
so i may understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind."

Jasper snickered at the faces of the two female judges.

"Well, the good news is, I have my wand and am ready to flame some vamps anytime now," Aieen spat, "and the bad news is, he sings well."

Lola only nodded.

"Okay Jasper, leave now and send out the next person."

Jasper nodded and vanished, throwing Ronald out moments later. He stumbled and dusted himself off. "Hey, I'm singing 'Pretty Fly For a White Guy' to myself and my brothers!" he yelled. Aieen twitched. And Ronald began singing. "**Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.  
Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.  
Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.  
And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly  
For a white guy.  
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis.**

You know it's kind of hard  
Just to get along today.  
Our subject isn't cool,  
But he fakes it anyway.  
He may not have a clue;  
And he may not have style.  
But everything he lacks  
Well he makes up in denial.

So don't debate, a player straight  
You know he really doesn't get it anyway.  
He's gonna play the field, and keep it real.  
For you no way, for you no way.  
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate.  
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake.  
The world needs wannabe's.  
So (Hey! Hey!) do that brand new thing.

Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.  
Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.  
Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.  
And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly  
For a white guy.

He needs some cool tunes  
Not just any will suffice.  
But they didn't have Ice Cube  
So he bought Vanilla Ice.  
Now cruising in his Pinto, he sees homies as he pass.  
But if he looks twice  
They're gonna kick his lily ass.

So don't debate, a player straight  
You know he really doesn't get it anyway.  
He's gonna play the field, and keep it real.  
For you no way, for you no way.  
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate.  
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake.  
The world loves wannabe's.  
So (Hey! Hey!) do that brand new thing

Now he's getting a tattoo.  
Yeah he's gettin' ink done.  
He asked for a '13', but they drew a '31'.  
Friends say he's trying too hard  
And he's not quite hip.  
But in his own mind  
He's the, he's the dopest trip.

Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.  
Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.  
Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.  
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis.

So don't debate, a player straight  
You know he really doesn't get it anyway.  
He's gonna play the field, and keep it real.  
For you no way, for you no way.  
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate.  
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake.  
The world needs wannabe's.  
Oh the world loves wannabe's.  
So let's get some more wannabe's.  
And (Hey! Hey!) do that brand new thing."

Aieen and Lola were laughing at him, hard.

"Weasley, what the hell was that?" Severus exclaimed. Ron sighed and bowed his head in defeat. He dropped the microphone and left, the auditorium once again filling with an evil screechy noise. "Who's left?"

"DRACO AND HARRY!!!" Aieen squealed."YES!! YES!!! YES!!! I LOVE THAT COUPLE!!! I LOVE THEM! YES!!!" Said par of wizards Apparated on to the stage and the blond one picked up the mic.

"Hello. I'm Draco Malfoy and this is my boyfriend Harry Potter. We're singing songs to each other. I'll be going first, singing 'Hey Juliet'."

The panel of judges clapped lightly as Harry kissed Draco's cheek.

"Okay…" Draco nodded to the band and the music began. Draco turned to Harry and the two began an intricate dance of sorts. "**Hey I've been watching you  
Every little thing you do  
Every time I see you pass  
In my homeroom class, makes my heart beat fast  
I've tried to page you twice  
But I see you roll your eyes  
Wish I could make it real  
But your lips are sealed, that ain't no big deal  
'Cause I know you really want me  
I hear your friends talk about me  
So why you trying to do without me  
When you got me  
Where you want me**

(Hey Juliet)  
I think you're fine  
You really blow my mind  
Maybe someday, you and me can run away  
I just want you to know  
I wanna be your Romeo  
Hey Juliet

Girl you got me on my knees  
Beggin' please, baby please  
Got my best DJ on the radio waves saying  
Hey Juliet, why do you do him this way  
Too far to turn around  
So I'm gonna stand my ground  
Gimme just a little bit of hope  
With a smile or a glance, gimme one more chance

'Cause I know you really want me  
I hear your friends talk about me  
So why you tryin' to do without me  
When you got me  
Where you want me

Hey Juliet  
I think you're fine  
You really blow my mind  
Maybe someday, you and me can run away  
I just want you to know  
I wanna be your Romeo  
Hey Juliet

I know you really want me  
I hear your friends talk about me  
So why you tryin' to do without me  
When you got me  
Where you want me  
You don't have to say forever  
For us to hang together  
So hear me when I say  
Hey Juliet

Hey Juliet  
I think you're fine  
You really blow my mind  
Maybe someday, you and me can run away  
I just want you to know  
I wanna be your Romeo  
Hey Juliet

Hey Juliet  
I think you're fine  
You really blow my mind  
Maybe someday, you and me can run away  
I just want you to know  
I wanna be your Romeo  
Hey Juliet."

They crowd cheered and whistled but stopped abruptly as Harry's song began. "**You ready?! Let's go!  
Yeah, for those of you that want to know what we're all about  
It's like this y'all (c'mon!)**

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill  
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will  
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain  
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

Mike! - He doesn't need his name up in lights  
He just wants to be heard whether it's the beat or the mic  
He feels so unlike everybody else, alone  
In spite of the fact that some people still think that they know him  
But fuck em, he knows the code  
It's not about the salary  
It's all about reality and making some noise  
Making the story - making sure his clique stays up  
That means when he puts it down Tak's picking it up! Let's go!

Who the hell is he anyway?  
He never really talks much  
Never concerned with status but still leaving them star struck  
Humbled through opportunities given despite the fact  
That many misjudge him because he makes a living from writing raps  
Put it together himself, now the picture connects  
Never asking for someone's help, or to get some respect  
He's only focused on what he wrote, his will is beyond reach  
And now it all unfolds, the skill of an artist

This is twenty percent skill  
Eighty percent fear  
Be a hundred percent clear cause Ryu is ill  
Who would've thought that he'd be the one to set the west in flames  
And I heard him wreck it with The Crystal Method, "Name Of The Game"  
Came back dropped Megadef, took em to church  
I like bleach man, why you had the stupidest verse?  
This dude is the truth, now everybody's giving him guest spots  
His stock's through the roof I heard he's fuckin' with S. Dot!

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill  
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will  
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain  
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!  
They call him Ryu, he's sick  
And he's spitting fire  
And mike got him out the dryer he's hot  
Found him in Fort Minor with Tak  
What a fuckin' nihilist porcupine  
He's a prick, he's a cock  
The type woman want to be with, and rappers hope he get shot  
Eight years in the making, patiently waiting to blow  
Now the record with Shinoda's taking over the globe  
He's got a partner in crime, his shit is equally dope  
You won't believe the kind of shit that comes out of this kid's throat

Tak! - He's not your everyday on the block  
He knows how to work with what he's got  
Making his way to the top  
He often gets a comment on his name  
People keep asking him was it given at birth  
Or does it stand for an acronym?  
No he's living proof, got him rocking the booth  
He'll get you buzzing quicker than a shot of vodka with juice  
Him and his crew are known around as one of the best  
Dedicated to what they do and give a hundred percent

Forget Mike - Nobody really knows how or why he works so hard  
It seems like he's never got time  
Because he writes every note and he writes every line  
And I've seen him at work when that light goes on in his mind  
It's like a design is written in his head every time  
Before he even touches a key or speaks in a rhyme  
And those motherfuckers he runs with,  
The kids that he signed?  
Ridiculous, without even trying,  
How do they do it?!  


**This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill  
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will  
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain  
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!'**

**This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill  
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will  
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain  
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!**

_**[Outro - Mike Shinoda:]**_**  
Yeah! Fort Minor  
M. Shinoda - Styles of Beyond  
Ryu! Takbir! Machine Shop!**"

The cheering was loud and echo-y. Aieen sighed, jumped on the judges table, whipped out her wand, pointed it at her neck, murmured 'Sonorus', and yelled, "WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP? THE SHOW'S OVER!!!" She then muttered, 'Quietus' and sat back down after the crowd had shut up. Celeborn replaced the couple and he, along with the judges, sighed. Aieen joined him on stage.

"Well," said Celeborn, "that was quite interesting, to say the least."

"Yep, now. Please vote for your top three favorite singers!" Aieen said, putting up the peace sign.

"Remember who the singers were," Celeborn added.

"Samwise Gamgee, Legolas of the Woodland Realms, Merry & Pippin, a duet… Well, you get the picture," Aieen murmured.

"Well, let's hope so, anyways," Celeborn muttered.

"But," Aieen said, "Please don't vote for Gandalf. That's just creepy…"

"Same as Legolas, though," Celeborn chided.

"Touché."

"Well, anyways," Celeborn cleared his throat.

"Vote for your top three favorites VIA reviews, please and thank you!!" Aieen yelled.


End file.
